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Sunday, March 27, 2011; 9:22 PM
I didn't give much thoughts on plenty of things till today.
The more I think, the more frustrated I am with myself.
I hate myself for my uselessness.
I hate myself for not having money.
I hate myself for not having beauty.
I hate myself for not having figure.
I hate myself for everything...anything....
Wednesday, March 16, 2011; 10:19 PM
There is no way one can predict when a natural disaster strikes.
Lives is so fragile that we might die the next second.
We know that we should treasure what we have and never take things for granted, however we just didn't.
Then I asked a question to myself, "What would I do if I know I am going to die in a few hours time?".
I don't have a definite answer to it as I cannot think of the answer with mixed feelings.
My heart just wish for something that I don't know what I am wishing for.
It just like someone dig a hole deep in my heart and left it there.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011; 1:52 AM
Remember when we are young, the world is full of many possibilities. We believed that a wish upon a star and the dream will come true; go ahead and make a wish, who knows that we are right when we are young. The star really make our dream come true.
I still believe in fantasy although I should be mature...hahaha But nvm I don think I should change myself to be like what the people are now....I just be myself... I know I look different from my real age, I don't dress well and I also don't act like teens. I really trying super hard to do what I want to do but find myself holding back... I think I can do it but I can't, seriously can't. I don't expect people to understand me cause no one truly understand one. I just know that I am hoping for little understanding from you all and giving me supports on what I am planning to do. Don't make me be the only one fighting in the war....I am getting super tired. Super tuper tired....
Monday, March 14, 2011; 9:05 PM
I find that my viewing perspective have changed very much till I am quite surprise with it. My appearance remains unchanged... I went to look for job at Lot one and the girl asked me "how old am I and Am I legal to look for a job???" Wow that really give me much information on my dressing code and body build... Still super immature like a child....LOL Anyway I can't do anything about the figure so I will stop thinking about it; although I do hope that I have curves figure always...who don't??? As for the dressing code, I can't do much about it... For those who know me, they should know why...haha
People do have different perspectives, I have learned these long ago.... I won't force people to have it the way I view it.... Some are stubborn, some are unreasonable etc.... Lots and lots of people with different characters find human interesting....really wanna study psychology.....
Monday, March 7, 2011; 11:57 PM
Do you ever feel that you are hoping for something but you don't know what is it. That precisely what I am feeling. I don't understand myself... Sometime I feel that I can do it but sometime I don't. Sometime I think I am independent but I am not. I find myself with an outer facade. The crying girl is deep inside of me covering with pool of sorrowing tears. The cheerful girl is outside. I seriously don't know what I am trying to feel or hope. With mixed feeling that I want to shout it up loud. I do blame life sometime for the situation I am in now, but I forgot to blame someone who is partially at fault. That is ME.
Sunday, March 6, 2011; 1:37 PM
No one can chooses their parents. I really envy my friends who are born with a silver spoon and they don't need to work during holiday and they can spend time going for holiday and enjoy lives. I can't!!! Sometime I do feel that why I am born in this family, can't even supply ourselves with a decent three meals every time. I do want to do things I wanted to do like doing short courses to enrich myself and go or driving or tourist license test.
After all, I cannot blame much about this. This is just fate. Sometime I feel that I should not resign to fate... however I just can't help but to resign at fate. I think that I am independent but then I am not really. I am not hardworking as other see I am. I am not as well to do as others see I am. This is a society that people tends to look down at not well to do family.
Come ON!! Don't lie to yourself when you say you are not. Would you want to befriend a person who always grumble they don't have food for a meal?? OK you can be sympathetic and treat him the first time then what about the second time and the third time and the fourth time????
I definitely must learn how to face the harsh society. Please wake up from my fantasy dreamland and some stupid childhood fairytale. It doesn't exist at all, well at least not to me.
How can I be the Cinderella that capture a prince charming heart and become the riches. I don't have the beauty but I do process the kindness and the stupidity of being so honest and considerate to others till I can hurt myself or hurt others sometime by that. I can't see everything so optimistic like hers and I cannot endure the toughness for so long like she is.
Oops I forgot to say that fairytale don't have a great ending cause the book miss that part out;The part when Cinderella did get fat and the prince charming dump her and maybe they alter the part which Cinderella did plan through the whole situation like what the Japanese show plot is. Oh yup and the part which Cinderella died of illness after married as she denied fate. Is human nature.....we are all born with a en evil seed inside of us. No matter how great or good a person is, when one loses hopes in everything they will changed.
Actually they shouldn't give the children a so nice ending to let them believe that things goes well in the end. As their hopes will get tarnish as they grow up.
Wow the first time to blog after so much months....the first post of the year.... anyway is a start of new thing and i really wish is a good starting. Many problems I have found out and I am surprised that the situation persist and not getting any better.... Is such an annoying fact that things is unchanged despite how long ler and how hard i tried...nvm i gotta try harder maybe is just not enough.....
The Webmistress
Behind The Scenes
Profile
I am 18 this year.
Waiting for Santa- Presents to me on 1906!
Study in Singapore Polytechnic currently
I Like:
♥Family
♥Novel
♥Anime
♥Drama
♥Cartoon
♥Tibits
♥Dreaming
I Dislike:
♥Thunder
♥Darkness
♥The real world
♥Fake people
♥Emoness
♥Betrayers
♥Unfairness
♥Examination
♥Evil
Dear Santa, get these for me!
Cravings
Explore the World Happiness! New Shoes Confidence Score well Good GPA Fame, Beauty, Fortune Cheerful Wisdom Learning Japanese Meeting my "HIM" To be my real self Have all dream coming true
Princess
I want to be
Cinderella
Crystal shoes are laughing,
Birds are chipping.
Who is the one and only girl???
Answer reveals when ones wear the crystal shoes.
My heartbeat is pumping hardly yet the charming prince never notice.
Pray to the shooting star,
Please remember me!!
Till blood flow profusely out from the crystal shoes...
Enduring all pain hoping to touch you
Cutting my feet just to meet you.
I am Cinderella in disguise,
Believing in miracles will happen.
I am Cinderella in disguise,
Prepare for the ball and shine for you.
I am Cinderella in disguise,
Using lie just to win your precious smile.
I am staring at you always.
I am spining and dancing non-stop. Hoping you will remember the best of me
Until the clock strike 12 midnight
I am running against time
When it strike 12 midnight,
Magic disappears,how cruel the fact is.
Without the crystal shoes,
I am nothing.
There is no way one can predict when a natural disaster strikes.
Explore the World
♥Darwin Blog
February 2008
