Year 2010 is not a good year for now i must say.
I hurt my hand on first day of school, feel the harsh truth crashing on me and also feel super emo.

I am starting to get weird, don't like to speak and acting strange.
I do something without planning to do it or have any idea what I am doing.
There is a feeling of someone punching me in the heart and causing me a deep wound that is bleeding.
Felt so empty and emo but then who cares anyway.

Getting bad comment by teacher on CRS despite I did place my heart in doing it.
I am super sad and tired.
Having no one to mention to.
Family have lot of things happening which causes me don't feel like going home.
It is not that sweet anymore. I remember when I was young, I will get back to home after school finished and also never go out. It might be the reason that I don't have friends. However, now i don't feel like going home even if I am alone.

I really try my best to hang on a smile on my face and not appearing emo...but that girl which is once hidden inside me for years is starting to take the place.
I did not act myself in front of others at all but I know someone did say something about me being fake. Some said that I behave like a tomboy etc...
Bad comments heard but then i choose to ignored cause I think it does not matter,my conscience is clear...You all can say whatever you want....

The guy who I like don't like me, I suppose is the time to try to let go since I am not one who will be noticed in a crowd.
Deserted...
Everyone is moving on except me...standing at where I am and did not move on.
Felt like standing at the edge of the cliff, to fall and not to fall, I really have not idea what to expect of this year since the starting is super bad...
Wondering what should I expect...
I did everything as who I am, I did not act in front of others...
However,somehow those who have a mask on them did fairly well in this society.
I must definitely admit and swear I will not be able to achieve that cause is like making use of others.
I rather people make use of me then i make use of them. I know someone who is making of me but i remain silent. No point making a fuss out of it.
Never mind, Just live with who I am then. Since from the start I am not that girl in limelight, so why should i think of anything.

Really tired and feel like giving up on life,but lack of courage...
Seriously weak and stupid...which I know I am...
No one will bother at all so why should I bother it myself then...

Pain will be numb eventually.....