Today, my mood is super terrible.
Father scolded me for not helping him to do the thing that I don't know how to do.
I didn't do it because I did not learnt before and I scared I wrote wrongly.
And there you are, scolding me and saying that you have wasted the money on me for study.
Let me be straight that now you are lending me your cpf account money only, I will pay you back when I am working.
For the laptop is on a loan, which was my name, and I am the one who is paying it.
Also, the textbook i bought is I lend money from friend to buy de.
What you choose to do is to ignore when I talk about money on buying textbook.
SO PLEASE SHUT YOUR SHIT UP.
When you are not in the shoe of others, you don't emphasis. Today, someone says something that hurt me. I know that person who said it is not trying to shoot me or what. They are speaking from their background and all those, that why I don't feel any anger toward that person.
The financial background I am in are super bad. I need to lend money from friend just to buy a $19.40 textbook. Therefore I will think a meal that cost $5 over is consider expensive. You are blessed and you have that money and so you think $20 over meal is okies. That is something I cannot comment.
I mean if I have money like your background. I will also think that $20 over for a meal is such cheap meal. It is okies. When someone told me she cannot afford it, I will think she is lying and don't want to dine with me.
Anyway, I am just telling everyone so that I won't be misunderstood.
Last few days back, I don't have money to buy a proper meal and therefore eating desert for lunch. Actually I was super starved but how am I suppose to tell people. I won't beg cause I am not a beggar. I won't beg cause I did have pride.
When people said that they treat me, you think my pride won't be affected. It will actually. But what can I do. I cannot afford to eat or go to those place and then you all want me to go. You all see me pathetic so offer to treat. I will of course feel bu hao yi xi and also bad for sure.
Maybe people like me should not be with friends, cause I will always spoil people fun of going out because of my financial.
I won't be angry or what cause I know we cannot always want people to be in our shoes. It was because they did not experience it therefore they cannot sympathize. They just say it because they say from what they think from their shoes.
Explore the World
♥Darwin Blog
February 2008
