I really don't know what to do anymore.
You are driving me mad,not in the sense of crazy over you but pissed off, whatever you are saying or replying are really in your own personal opinion and is sucks.
Do you think that you are the God and you can act according to what you feel???
Then is a big cross stamp I should stamp on your forehead.
People do have different feelings and what you are acting are such selfish as you did not spare a thought for the others.
Although that person I am referring do not read this post, I just tolerate it and I just need a place for me to vomit out the things I wanted to say.
What I want now is to be able to go to East Coast Park again....Boring, isn't it??
Enough of that matter I mentioned above....
Yesterday,I weeped in silent, due to some family things.
The person,which I mentioned above, message me and he is pretty demanding on everything and such a problematic person, to me.
I don't really to wish to think of other thing as I am worry about other things but he do not think so and keep bugging me on it.
I am frustrated but I managed to cool down by saying I don't really want to speak now,hope you can understand. There are girls outside which are better than me and I hope you will not waste any time on me as it is not worthy. He did not replied after that, I think it does not matter to me whether he is angry or feel any hatred toward me nor, as most of my problems are caused by him.
If he really choose not to be friend anymore, I will let it be as I really don't want to do anything about it when I don't have the mood to think about other thing as my family are more important. Let me be clear that he is not my boyfriend, as I won't go this mean toward him. Frankly, he was trying to act like I am his girlfriend as he put his hand on my waist and shoulder, which I shake it off every time, and trying to get hold of my activities and trying to tag along. It just bother me a lot as you are not in any right to do so.
My parents just poured their sorrow onto me. They say I am not as good as my sister as she is living on herself while I am still like a spoon feed baby asking for milk. I know that she is much good looking and more capable than me but you all don't keep saying it as this make me more and more don't like myself. My self-esteem are being affected.
I am pretty tired of how things go and really wanted to give up,although I am still trying hard to hold on.
Despite the fact that I am 18 years old, going to be 19 years old in few months, I think my mindset and heart are not the actual age of it. It tend to be pretty immature and I tend to rely on people much then I expected. However, sometimes I tend to be quite mature in the ways of thinking.
I really don't understand myself sometimes.
I just a girl which don't face the reality and keep living in a friction world I created and I bound myself in it.
In the world,I was carefree and shining brightly without any sadness or worries indicated on my face.
For now, I must admit the fact that I am still holding on to the thought that miracles do happen when you believe. Therefore,I believe in miracles.
I don't feel the need to change myself at all, which I don't know is a wise decision made or maybe not, I will carry on to be just me.
Explore the World
♥Darwin Blog
February 2008
