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Blog
Saturday, October 31, 2009; 11:41 PM
Today I went back to school to play badminton with eddie,Hui xiang,carrie and ting sheng.
However, I was in quite a bad mood so i did not play the badminton as much as i would so, instead i sit aside and become moody.
Too bad somebody cannot join us till to flu...haix sad
After that we went to holland village and have a meal.
But is was raining heavily so we sort of get drenched.....Then they was discussing to go to watch movie called jennier's body...
I would like to watch too but due to financial matter i cannot so i remain silent.
The others was so enthu about it while i was the only one who say no.
afte rmuch discussion bringing disappointment to all we think of going home.
But i was so sad that i was like the one who hinder them having fun and so on so i not in mood to go home..
I went yew tee point instead, they join me cause nothing to do...
then we went to long john silver sit and eat and play undo stacker....
and got penalty if collapse...
That my day today...
i feel quite sad and feel like crying...
think it would be better if i am alone cause i will always cause trouble to others and hinder ppl having fun with my financial now....
Wednesday, October 28, 2009; 6:41 PM
Nothing in particular to blog actually...life is getting real boring!!!
I must say it is so painful and hard to shine your brightest smile to people when you are deeply bleeding or sad inside.
However, people don't like unhappy person so no choice but to smile in a happy way.
Getting more and more tired about the situation i am in now, things are getting much worse and more out of hand.
Hope thing will get better....
I reformat my com today losing all my data...taking about 5 hours plus to finish it ...
i was there sleeping actually when it was reformatting.....
so boring without any ppl accompany....
Sunday, October 25, 2009; 11:35 PM
Today I did have a wonderful and happy day.
Sort of having a lot of new surprise...
motor ride...shopping center i first go...
feeling...
Put that aside ba...no mood to think....
I must clearly say the wind that blow on your face when u r riding a motor ride is nice and peaceful....
close your eyes and u will listen to the sound of car passing by and the wind blowing on your face..
it just calm u down i must say...
throwing away troubles...
Would love to ride a motorcycle again...really is super nice....
Wednesday, October 21, 2009; 8:18 PM
Third day from the time when school reopened.....
School so far is relaxing cause we have not started any lesson yet just introduction.
Repeating reading twilight saga...twilight finished now moving on to new moon, followed by eclipse and breaking dawn.
I hope i have time to read it and enjoying it.
Today i did something real stupid.
Someone just call and ask me a bunch of questions
e.g do you like guy smaller or older than you??
do you want to have stead??
I say i don care for the first and the second i say see how might not be.
Then he moved to ask that if i said i interested in you, would u accept it??
My reply is speechless and then i say haha that the funniest joke i ever heard.
So dumb of me horx to say so...
then she was like hurt or what and say he tired and hung up the phone...
I did not sms or call him after he hung up i think is the best...
Cos a person who cannot love herself how to love others....
reading new moon...nice sia wanting to watch new moon movie which is soon to be shown on cinema....faster pls...
Friday, October 16, 2009; 11:09 PM
Today i went to Orchard Central to have my hair cut.Their service was so great.
Must be wondering why i have the money
ba....
Haha i don't have
leh...
I used voucher to pay
de....
Oh quite short hair...But then quite fashion if style but i think i will be lazy lo...see how
ba...
styling needed but without styling is perfect to me also...
lol...
Was get scolded today...really get very used to it...
till I don feel anything
ler.....
Even when i spoke to them it just felt so sort of speaking to stranger....
Distance felt drifting apart
nvm i don know what to say...
Oh one thing to be certain..
Fate really decide when u die...
My dad escape dead today...luckily indeed...
My brother say very good and then got a big scolding from my mum...
I just smile and get pass it...no comment cause i don know what i should be feeling..
I did show concern by saying u r lucky.., should be glad, Be careful next time....Nothing else
ler..
Don't really know what i feel when i say so....
My dad then say about lots of things like financial thingy which bother me little
but i choose to ignore it though...
Oh one thing to be certain
I am always not popular no matter with friend or with relative...
But
nvm i accept it
ler....
Thursday, October 15, 2009; 10:10 PM
Scolded by my parent once again....
Don't really know why they liked to scold me so much...
Maybe i did do wrong...
Then they quarrel with one another again....
Feeling are deep inside being affected...
Wanted to cry or to show emotions...
BUT THEN.....
I just hid it inside my heart...
My face expression did not change even though i felt different.....
While i was blogging....They are still quarreling loudly...
Affecting me so deeply....
Felt so sad and useless....Like i was so small that they overlook me....
None of this emotions shown cause it is pointless to do so....
Wednesday, October 14, 2009; 9:43 PM
Feel the sudden urge to blog after being scolded by my Father(chi-chi)
Anger and hatred...Is that what all humans have????
I don't feel any angry or hatred to anyone,which i dared to swear, however i did despise myself.
Haha...ridiculous right???
I really do find that i did hate myself for everything that happen to me.
Don't really know what to say or expect....
When my father lecture me...the thing is that i do not felt at all sad or angry or what so ever...but hate of myself and sad for myself...
Nothing else....No confidence till this situation must be really sad for me....
Puppet we all are, aren't we?
Although we don't like to admit or we don't act like one, we will be one in life no matter what....
Me sort of like being a puppet without any feeling but hate and sad for myself...Pure is impure; Impure is pure.
Good is bad; Bad is good.
Live is to die; Die is to live.
Sunday, October 11, 2009; 1:32 AM
Wow....It have been a very long time when i last seen all my friends, Miss them lots.
I have miss out all the fun but then with no regrets, if I picked up the calls, I would also not be able to go.
Just thinking:
Rather than me spoiling the fun of others, I might well miss out all the fun and let others have fun.
Holiday is coming to an end pretty soon.
I don't know what shall I be expecting when school reopens;
Is it for the better or the worse?
I just feel that there is a deep emptiness inside of my heart.
I did try to figure out what causing it but to no valid.
Maybe I was just simply hiding from the truth
Would I be able to handle the problem when I know what is causing it?
I seriously know the answer is
NO...
Where is the girl I miss so much?
She is very lost in the mist and I am afraid I won't be able to find her back to me.
Long time have not seen her, Will she give up?
Longing to go back to find her and be her; willingly to forsake who I am now.
Time really indeed change everything.
When you want to regret your decision, It is just too late.
No amendments nothing...What left is memories....
Repeatedly listen to a lot of sad emo songs...but i like few songs in particular....jams hsiao ---yuan liang wo
Tao jing ying---li kai wo,tai wei qu
kelly clarkson---if no one will listen
These few songs really do describe me well....How would you feel when you are supposed to be involved in a situation
but then you are the last to know?????
I don't like the feeling of it.
Still into fantasy:
anime,novel..
OH, I am repeatedly reading twilight saga once again ...
Thanks to the person who bought me those.
Sorry guys,who you know who,I never get to see you all in these holiday at all.
Although you did call me out, i fail to turn up each time.
To the city harvest, it also been a long time did I turn up.
I have some
difficulties in it.
Something meant to be kept rather then spoken.
Saturday, October 3, 2009; 12:40 AM
After browsing some blogs of others, I felt a little sadness....
Realising that distance is never going to be the same anymore, it drifts further and further apart.
I won't regret making clear of anything even if this is what I get.
To be frank to myself is what really matters.
I must also say that I do not expect this kind of ending, however things is always not what you expected so I don't think there any wrong with my prediction.
Oh I should say that there is always different between one another no matter how hard you did try to fix it, therefore resulting in unfairness.
As we know there is nothing fair in this world so this kind of things is unavoidable.
Reading a novel called LADY'S REVOLUTION....consists of four series
A sparrow is always a sparrow.
I agree to what it says cause no matter how hard you try, sometimes it just do reflect on your efforts.
No matter how hard you did change to phoenix, there is no ways that people will forget that you were once sparrow and you behave also like a sparrow.
Do you think sparrow can become a phoenix?? I don't think is possible.
Whatever will be, it will be...I sort of really take it as this it is ler....
Whether miracle happen or not, it depend on fate and destiny...
Resigning to it ba....