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Saturday, November 29, 2008; 10:51 PM
Past few days studying with ge ge....Erm can ba....he find me emo and wat also....i very stress la....but try not to do anything....erm erm i cry in front of him cause of girl favourite (barbie dolls)...ma de they not cute but scary lo....i scare lo....walau...no comment..=.=thanks for eating ice cream with me....Realise more vividly what is the truth and the virtual....All are just plain fake signals.....It just my imagination that leads to me fantasy....today so ps don knwo ler still act pro ma de....wan to go east coast...must go for sure..... during holiday....i won find ge ge think gt her gf acc him.....DOn wan be light bulb...erm see how...think i will find hx haha....OH and also catch a movie..wakakakakak.....troubles blow by wind...wash by wind and drain down....I will be alright....erm erm.....nvm la...don know wat to say ler...jsut know i will be damn strong....won be defeated by this....NOT AS STRONG AS YOU SEEM AND TOO NOT WEAK AS IT IS....
Thursday, November 27, 2008; 6:49 PM
Am i invisible??
If u think i am let me tell u straight to ur face ,i m not ...
wound can be heal but not fully heal as scar will till be present....
Watever that case...see thorugh it and then nvm...
that ur all decision...
i am me...not neccessary need to proveto ppl i m visible...
as long as i know i am...
see the shining light...
no point changing it...
it is there ler....
don care la....
i accept it...
WISHES SHOULD I HAVE ANY???
SEEM LIKE ALL ARE JUST DISAPPOINTMENT...
HEART WISHES BUT I DON WAN AND WAN TO CHANGE IT...
I CAN DO IT!!!!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008; 11:27 PM
Now so stress...so many thing happened..including upcoming mst...slp in class now don know ler la...omg...I realise it is just my wishful thinking...wake up while too late....i am not special in ur eyesjust stupid and normal....yet i beg the different....i am stupid give up ler....that y said don dare to wish as what i wish alway is lost....thing in placebut to me is out of place....miss it and want it....but do i derserve it....all the best to everybodyfor upcoming mst...gambateh.....
Tuesday, November 25, 2008; 11:24 AM
Torrential rain hit the groundSunlight shine after rain stopRainbow appear in the skyForming a seven colors bridgeA bridge where people believe that angels crossA bridge full of joy of lovingly angel and fun A bridge of happiness and nothing moreOnce againI am standing in the rainDrenched completelyHelplessLonelinessAngel enter my dream that very momentLet me believe that After rainWith sunlightRainbow will appears in my lives tooWith that belief I am working hardTo escape from emonessHardThat what i can sayAngel hate tearsIn angel dictionaryNo such word as tears As they are all fun lovingWihout any worriesPlayfulCheerful JubilantFallen angel???Is she one of those angelsWho cross the bridge too????Labels: Angels
Sunday, November 23, 2008; 9:36 PM
There is a start of somehting new....
trying to be happy like before....
Crying in front of others...seem long don have ler....
I always cry on my own under the bed sheet or wat...
crying in front of others is like very weak lo....
NEver cry in front of anyone....
i don know but trying to find the one who is happy last time ....
although blur and stupid but horx like her then this emo girl....
precisely true ba.....
that why trying real hard lo....
but i know when i smile that something deepin my heart that stop me...when reach in it....
i also don know what it is....
nvm la....
today wake upvery moody...
don wan to do anything
online stone
chat with others but still sad de....frm morning till now
afternnon nobody talkto me....
i play game till now
eys pain siao....
rain heavily in afternoon....
thunder scary
wat morebulb short circuit
dark dark de damn scary...
breakfast lunch dinner....
neevr eat well..
lol....
eat ice cream again....sian sian
cheer up girl....
Gotta go my own way
don let it affects me ba...
pray hard....
wishful thinking of mine.....
i know ler....jiayou ba...
Friday, November 21, 2008; 5:23 PM
Those few days being very down....Even others besides me also can see that i am like very sian and no mood these days....I keep eating ice cream till now gastric veyr uncomfortable...feeling pain always....I got lot to tell but i don know what it is....I don know the fact of watever and anything...I just knew if my lives is ordinary it would be a luxury for me really...I don't dare to wish for anything...it is just pointless and disappear soon leaving not traces that i have it before....When i opened my eyes when i awoke, if it i am looking at the new day like never before or am i looking back at the past memoires???
Wednesday, November 19, 2008; 5:35 PM
Saying that you understand me well, but what actually do u understands....
Horoscope u mean, say so about that...
What the big deal, it is only for reference and not for u to believe in it...
Sometime we act according to what the book said and think that they are right to predict so....
But is it really that case????
You have things that u don wan others to know, so of course I have it too...
SO do u really wan others to know what u dons wan others to know deep and inside out...
What does it really hurt most when I believe that u understands me but then u r not...
Do you know that what u is doing is like controlling lives of people?
Who lives???
IS MINE for the sake that u don know.
U can ask your brothers them all...
Would they really wan their girlfriend to really know everyone in their lives and take note of every activities and ask details clearly....
Know what u is doing is out of concern and I SERIOUSLY APPRECIATE it but don u think it is too much???
Does u think this scene is like under curfew that very single thing needed to be reported??
Or is it some kind of situation that like i am in the jail then the officer wans to know what u doing every minute??
Too exaggerating maybe....
U also can ask your sister for opinions, she is a girl too she sure know how it feels....
Sometime when u r in it, u don see a situation.
Then when u leaves the situation and look back then u will clearly knwo how the other party felt...
U trying putting in my shoes and think how u would feel...
I know u is CARING and I REALLY APPRECIATE IT...
DO I REALLY DESERVE IT FROM ALL THAT I MISTREAT YOU???
CARING I KNOW U R TRYING TO BE BUT WOULD U THINK IT IS CROSSING THE LINE?
I BET UR SISTER ALSO WOULD NOT WANT PPL TO CARE FOR HER IN THIS WAY, PERPHAS MAYBE SHE ALSO DON LIKE BG TO DO THIS TOO BA....
Any offender to this post, i am seriously sorry...
Just wanna state my views and mos timpt i am not angry ler
Tuesday, November 18, 2008; 12:13 PM
Feel like i can have a tub of ice cream and i eat all in a go....
Really feel like eating ice cream or tibits.
People who know me well...
u will know what i am feeling when i wan ice cream.......
Monday, November 17, 2008; 8:18 PM
Wanna shout it loud very loud but i don know when i shout what would happen.Wanna cry and drenched in the rain so that rain can wash away my pain.ALthough having a smile on my face, i cna feel somehting blocked in deep my eyes that i cannot laugh heartedly out.I don't know how to say why i am depressedLives that are oridinary is normal for people around but for me it can be counted luxury....I don't dare to wish for anything as very wish might turn out to be a fallen star that fall and disappear within my sight.I know what it mean being a loner really, although ppl by my side i never ask for help....I felt like crying....HEart sobering in tears and drowning within it....I cannot choose which family to be born...Emo ler la...stupid why thing become worse....I know i did try to run away but i don intend to let ti be worse....Feeling so downAnd then realise a fact that I am alone....SO cold and so coldTroubles....Standing in the raging seathe current will lead to me where??I am lost
Sunday, November 16, 2008; 5:37 PM
Die ler la...
Starting from last week saturday till now... everyday eat ice cream without any day miss....
then horx start from tuesday keep eating fast food till now ....
got long john silver,kfc, mac and also burger king allthose...
sure fat ler la...
oh shit...
don dare weight ler lo.....
will update more in time...lol...now is worry about my weight....
fatfat ler....
but the ice cream damn nice addicted to it ler...
Saturday, November 15, 2008; 11:16 PM
Laptop repair finish ler....luckily i go and ask today as monday got test ma need it....
But horx they said my 3 gb memory spolit or wat changed to 2 gb now become lag ler....
WHen i boot up....wait quite long and hoirx msn wait abt 5 min then pop out....
But luckily internet can use ler....
See rainbow in every of your smile
Treasure it as it might not last
Memories is something capture
so as to have a lives of our own
knowing living in it is ba but then i keep living
Thanks a lot for today
never get to try coffee...
lol....
stress over work ler...
now need to rush ler.....
Friday, November 14, 2008; 4:38 PM
So stupid of me...baka...baka
So many project and everything ler then is itll put my com there at acer company to repair...
Don't know what to say about my onw way thinking sia....
NOw using wan ping com to blog...never take my com back...
Those erm seeing tv and watch dvd cartoon so sian...i want online...
Realise i miss my com damn much cannot lost it siao....
Know ur impt ler pls cpome back soon and repair....
and also never online realise i miss out a lot of thing ...
Heart felt that somehting blockinh it wan to come out but don know what that....
Jiayou ba me...
I can de give myself the stupid encouragement i can...
Gambateh....
Domo Arigato senpai....
jiayou and move forward....
Wednesday, November 12, 2008; 8:09 AM
Tears are just water that flowout from the eyes when you are sad.I am sad but i have not tears.I can feel very well that someone in deep inside me is crying sadly.Is like i get used to trapping my feeling inside and that why i jsut cannot let it out ba...Seriously think that if this continue i sure watse my effort long ago fromgetting out of emo and then fall into it again.Why do people around me overlook my presence and treat me as invisible and then pass by and go even bump intome no sorry nothing...I felt like standing in a middle of road with many cars passing and too passer-by also but no one offer help or what...I am so alone.THings are not what i think it would be but then be what it turn out tobethe worse and unexpected.I don't know felt more isolated then ever and i have changed to fall back to emo type again.If u know me well, you will found out that i have changed...
Tuesday, November 11, 2008; 10:10 PM
I started to feel real depressing....Heart sank and then it is so heavy...I can feel something trap inside but i never let it out....I don't know what to do...I don' t dare to let it out as i thought of the outcome it iwll brings and everything...I admit i scared a lot of thing as i very dan xiao....I want to tell others that i might look tough and no need care or protection but then i need it the most then others who look demure....Look matter ma?I think i alway think not but then i have a sudden change of mindset i don't know ...Felt so so small and very limited while comparing....I am going to eb emo again ...OH my god i don't wantHelp me....
Sunday, November 9, 2008; 11:22 PM
h
LIving in my own world,
didn't understand that anything could happen
when you take a chance....
I never believed in,
what i couldn't see....
i never opened my heart to all the possibilities...
i know that something have changed,
never felt this way before
this could be a start to something new....
It feel so right now....
And now feeling that it so strong that it could be a start of something new....
Labels: SOmething new
Friday, November 7, 2008; 8:07 AM
I always tend to make careless mistakes without any fail.
"Am i really so blur?",I asked myself this question but this answer would never be known.
Whatever the case, I am comfortable with who I am.
I don't intend to have myself change just for the sake of other sarcastic comment on me.
I am me, I don't live for other but for myself; as long as i like myself and like what i am doing, it would be completely fine.
Tears and sadness took me once and i really got the feeling of that it is so much to bear that i don't wish to fall back again.
However, with this kind of circumtances i am in, I will surely break down sooner or later.
What is happiness?
I have not thinking to it.
Maybe a smile can be consider as happy and so i conclude i am happy.
Am i right to say so?
Confidence is what i lack but then where to i gain it once again; I am lost and slowly losing myself.
Grabbing what i could just to keep myself from being blown away by the strong wind.
Torrential rain beat dowm and drenched me till I have difficulties to walk, as more i am standign in the rain, the more heavier my footsteps seen to be.
Anything that happend along the way are obstacles that hinder your steps but the stepping stone to the top of the hill is very steep for me to climb as much more strength needed.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008; 7:35 PM
I don't know what i am doing is right or wrong but one thing i can be clear about is that i am not living as myself.Today going to biusiness block learning gems and then is raining; trying to find the way that got shelter...I forgot how to walk already sian sian....And horx thunder roars make me so scared...I just think that it might different for me and erm for what ever la....not sure what i want to say....erm one thing i wan to state here is that i hate ppl say i tell lie which i did not even and so hate ppl who wrong me...Today in programming class like type till so angry and also almost bang the laptop...Erm speaking of laptop i drop it today from quite high and heard a nice bang sound....tot it will spoilt siao....attend a talk on self esteem.....Nice indeed...I ma thinking about something that so nice but then it is impossible to achieve....
Tuesday, November 4, 2008; 11:10 PM
Promise tend to be the nicer and beautiful and meaningful thing at that very moment when the promise is made.After some time the promise will turn to something that is so hard to obtain or being forgotten.I don't like people asking me to make promises to him or to her, neither do i like people to say pormise to me.I see pormises as something that will won't last.It seem like a fragile glass that will be easily broken adn when it repair back: some parts are missing and never be found.I miss somehting very much and want something very much...IN deep heart i just feel so but i have no ideas what is it??Luminousity of stars vary,the brightest among them are what i loved.
Stupid my slipper spoilt in school...in the end during the two hour break,wan ping and yung sin went to jurong to purposely buy one pair of slipper back for me....thanks you a lot...without their rescue of that i will miss my happy time in yoga.
A lot of girl...
thw whole class about 40 over and onli 6 boys onli.
haha bones about to crack so ke lian....
haha wear fbt short kanna scolded say wear short difficult to do yoga lol
lot of happening buyt won blog unhappy stuff lol
Sunday, November 2, 2008; 1:07 AM
Today i went to marina square with hui xiang, pan peng,jun ming,bing xian and zhao jing.
The fountain very nice and i played with the water with hui xiang and the others were there sitting down and admiring the scenary;while waiting for seat for the seoul garden as it was very packed.
Waitng for around 20minutes, finally we get a chnace to eat.We eat quite a lot at seoul garden. Totally spend about 147 dollars for 5 person. From here , i liked to thank hui xiang again...
he said cannot said thanks ad sorry at tagboard so thanks here for treating me and sorry .....
HE treat me de or not i also have no money eat as i only have 4 dollars onli....
We went in about 7 plus then leave at 9 plus...imagine how much we eat la....
realise that pan peng like seafood a lot....
Then after eating, we went to see the melion... very cute horx....
so lame right due to me la....never see melion before.....
then they purposely bring me go there see....
Photo A...... ....... Photo B
Hey people who visit my blog...leave a tag and choose which one nicer leh....
Photo A or Photo B...
Each photo taken by different people haha...just having a simple game seeing which one better onli...helpus find the winner ba....thanks lol
Saturday, November 1, 2008; 12:18 AM
Today maybe going for camp but erm skip it ba due to soemthing.. then haeding to junction 8 to watch the coffin.I am so scared to see it as i am afraid of the trailer ler...Then as what i thought i did have a great scared....Almost screamed....Going with hui xiang, pan peng, zhao jing,jun cheng, yung sin....Qutie nice la...asi long had this kind of meeting up and watch a movie ler....I don't know what i am doing is worng or right???Just pray that the god would help me through it sometimes and not live me by my own....Everyone make wrong choices so and do have regrets...I had have enough of those pleaseshow ur kindness by leading those the darkness....
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