Now then i finally realise
i am not living as who i am,
I had been living under
my wish and my fantasy.
After i thought i had walked out of my emoness,
actually i had not.
I been living under my dreamworld those times.
But then i don't have the courage to face my feeling,
i keep on controling it from taking over me.
Everytime i laugh,
I find myself laughed
without my heart laughing.
I just could not help but feel that
sadness that overtakes me.
When i want to get close to my own feeling in deep heart,
i feel sudden sadness and
then started to have tears in
my eyes for no reason.
Therefore,i never get close to my heart finding out
why as i just don't want to feel
the feeling of this again.
I am scared.
Although it is running away from reality
but then i just
don't want to face it.
Reality for me is harsh and cruel.
Living in my fantasy world,
i might be running away from all those problem
but then at least i feel
more meaningful to live and
having anime,tibit,cartoon
as my happiness to live with.
I just don't know what i do
was wrong or right
but then one thing to be sure
i don't want to face my inner feeling
as i might be weak
to really take it.
Living in real world for me is
like a walking zombie as
i have nothing to wish for
and aim for and
is meaningless.
Living in my world is like
got anime all those
to surround me,
at least make me feel better.